How we used to get people to hit other people in martial arts is you would get them too punch a red square (the color square doesn't matter ) then you would put that on a human shaped target , then you would get a human to have the red square as a padded target on them, then you would place it on the other humans chest on say a teeshirt .

Its basically getting over conditioning , the average human doesn't want to punch a complete stranger, most people have that conditioned out of them especially girls .

So what you could do is start training her with toy guns, then bb guns or take her paint balling and gradually work her up, you could use video games, tell her story's about brave women saving peoples lives by using firearms, all the time show your pleased with her and don't get mad at her so your reinforcing the idea that guns aren't bad.

Is it the sound? My wife doesn't like the sound.

May I suggest you start her off with a paintball gun or BB's, and work your way up to louder guns. = we're on the same wavelenth johnny2mad...lol

Many newbies are also scared of the "kick" of the weapon; that they'll lose control.

Work your way up the degree of exposure. Also, expressed to her how important the skill is and how it may save you or the child in a future situation. It's important to YOU that she knows how to fire a gun, let her know that if you haven't already.

Megadoom

as mega says the sound and kick may well play a big part.

Most guns also don't look very girly, do you remember seeing the pink hello kitty ar-15 thats someone made that may not suit your wife, but I've known girls who would be far more interested in a gun if it looked girly and cute. It need not be pink but some guns look cuter than others I think something like a walther ppk looks cute or stylish.

My grandmother always had a small chrome semi auto pistol with her in her handbag, very pretty girly gun, I don't think she would have carried a big old service revolver, she had a service revolver that belonged to my uncle who died in world war one, but I don't think she would have had much to do with it because it wasn't very feminine.

Yep, speaking from the perspective of a female who does not like guns...start out small
Asking her to go out and shoot a rifle when she doesn't like guns...is like asking someone to swim the English Channel when she doesn't know how to swim

I would go even more basic to start, as in dicussing the rationale, and getting her to admit the neccessity first. Then some education concerning firearm principles, which could be done in the complete absence of any actual weapons or ammo. Once she understands how they work, what each kind of weapon is for, and what they can and cannot do, then she might feel more comfortable about the idea of handling one.

A trip to the range strictly for purposes of observation, just so she can get a feel for the environment might also be a good idea.

Once she is more comfortable with it conceptually, then you can start with the "three rules", and the specifics on any of the weapons you actually own. Loading, firing, clearing and checking the action, gun care, and safe storage technuques would come next, I think.

Then a trip back to the range for live fire, when she's comfortable with the gun and the idea of actually firing it.

I guess this all boils down to "baby steps". One at a time, with help, and as slowly as is comfortable for her.

It may help to find a female instructor for the wife. Sometimes the comfort level of being with the girls can result in amazing progress for initially getting a beginner past the hard parts.
I have personally seen some very timid beginners turn into fairly decent shots very quickly, become safer around forearms in general after just two or three lessons , and the female instructors and all female classes is what made the difference.
Couldn't hurt to try could it?

Leave her alone, and don't use your child as an excuse to magnify your marital or personality differences.

She was scared of guns when you triggered (so to speak) the pregnancy. If you didn't make it an issue then, or before then, why are you going after her now?

Man up and protect your family.

auntie
the gun lover

After having carefully selected what handgun she will end up with, get an airsoft replica of that gun. I was able to find an all-metal 1911 airsoft of almost the same weight which makes for very cheap practice. By getting a gas blowback system, I got an airsoft that kicks the slide back just like the real one - and the safeties work the same, the trigger feels very close to the real thing, etc. A high quality airsoft gun (we are talking $100-$150) will allow a person to familiarize oneself with the general operations of the gun without having an actual loaded gun in their hand. You can get targets at places like Walmart that trap the plastic bb's and swing down then reset. BB's do drop over a far distance, so the targets can and should be kept fairly close.

(edit - with a gas or electric blowback, you'll get a little bit of the feel of firing the gun, but with extended practice with grip, trigger pull, etc, a person can develop good habits with an airsoft PRIOR TO any risk of developing trigger flinch - a very real danger in your wife's case. Move up from airsoft to .22 preferably a 22 pistol with the same general ergonomics & action. Work your way up to 9mm or maybe .380 and you can probably leave it at that. You may THINK that $125 for a glorified bb gun is expensive but consider that it will be a non-threatening entrance to shooting, be an excellent tool for teaching, will help avoid forming bad habits early, and think of the cost of buying propane and re-using the same plastic bb's over and over - practically nil. IF the real gun is okay for dry-firing, maybe running through sight picture, trigger pull, and grip while dry-firing, then switching to airsoft is the way to go. Airsoft can make an excellent bridge to the real thing though.)

...and hi everybody

JBHB, Good to see you!