Kind of tough to blow thousands of dollars on guns when you only make $1000 a month ain't it? 3 hours of target shooting alone every day could blow through that kind of money in ammo alone.

Alternatively, could be a handy guy to have around, the world is scheduled to end here any minute, maybe you should practice with him, and not worry about anything else? When the MZBs start coming over the barricades, all that practice by both of you could be quite beneficial?

Good handgun, a shotgun, and a hunting rifle is all you need to get what needs to be done when and if it ever is. Your husbands obsession sounds like stress relief. Probably makes him feel powerful and in control.

Be soft spoken and without criticism when you talk him about it. Express your concerns about money, kids, and the future - "I would like you to...., . LISTEN to what he tells you without jumping the gun on assumptions. Damn hard when you know each other so well. Let him know what you think is a healthy amount of time, money, and focus, but don't insist that he "obey" you. Let him think about what you want without the expectation that he has to. You'll be surprised. Men WANT to please their wives. I know I do. BUT they don't want nagging, criticism, and judgement.

Maybe he feels like you, as a family, are not prepared in other ways. Maybe his strategy is to take what the family needs by force come apocalyptic times. Could be subconscious.

Megadoom

Where can you get an assault rifle (which, by definition, is selective fire) for $1000?

Personally, I think every adult should be required to own a semi auto rifle in a military caliber before they're allowed to vote, 'cause free states have well regulated militias and empires have standing armies.

He doesn't think that there are apocolyptic times ahead. As far as he is concerned, the world will always be as it is now.

We have a massive garden and chickens. We have a wood burning heat/cookstove and acres of woods on all sides. And apparently, we have an arsenal to protect it. He refuses to expand our garden any bigger (even though I am the only one to work in it) or get goats or any kind of farm animal besides the chickens.

The money he is spending is "extra" money. Like our tax return, or the 401K he cashed out when he got fired. I feel like that money could be much better spent. Hell, I would welcome the money being blown on a vacation if it meant that the entire family would benefit from it.

I am very frugal and do not spend a lot of money. I have one purse, I buy MAYBE one pair of shoes a year, don't buy a lot of clothes...my kids get presents at birthdays and Christmas, but they are definitely not spoiled. So for a grown man to spoil himself so much kind of burns me up.

I tried the gently asking for things and not nagging thing for ten years. It got me nowhere. It got me a husband who would skip work until we lost our house, who won't help around the house or take care of the kids, and who would turn down jobs after he was fired because he didn't feel like working. So in the last year I've turned into a raging bitch because I am doing ALL the work on my own. I'm exhausted. And tired of hearing gunshots in the backyard.

I know, I've got way more issues than the guns. I feel like I was so reasonable for so long that he should be reasonable now.

Rbgs, This is the gun he is looking at:

http://www.cabelas.com/product/Shooting ... t105524280

ETA: He already has an SKS, so it's not like he's lacking in semi-automatic weaponry.

Well, those numbers don't seem too awful to me. I've got a lot of friends who also love guns, and spending $4k a year on a hobby like that isn't difficult. Perhaps it's inappropriate given your income levels, but it's not like he's spending more money than most people who have the same hobby. My point is not that he's justified in spending money you can't afford, but that he's not getting deeper into it than your average gun enthusiast.

It may be hard to understand why he wants another gun when he has 7. But it's like saying he wants another kitchen knife when you already have 7 (my knife block has more than 7 knives and I'm not even into it) or wants another wrench when he already has 7. There are different uses for different guns, and each is different. Obviously if you can't afford the next tool, you shouldn't buy it, no matter how useful it is.

He may also not know that you're as ok with guns as you are. There's a meme in the gun-owners world where the wife is totally against guns and the husband is totally for them, and the husband has to hide his interest from the wife. Your friends probably don't help, since I'm sure you just smile and nod when they spout the radical anti-gun stuff, rather than telling them they're wrong outright. So be sure that he knows you're ok with gun ownership, and maybe might want one or two of "your own" that would be more doom-oriented. That could help bring him onboard more.

Certainly you need to come to some agreements about space, time, and money spent on this hobby. Doesn't matter if it's target/fun shooting or doom preparation, concentrating too much on an activity is bad for a marriage. I think you'll both be happier if he has a dedicated amount of space for his guns and accessories, and a specific policy for how much he can spend on the hobby. I'd recommend that you either say he gets a certain amount of money per week (maybe $50 or $100) from your ordinary income, or he gets to keep a certain amount of his income (perhaps 10%) toward it, plus any money he makes on the side by, for instance, collecting scrap metal. There are certainly ways to make money with this hobby, too. Perhaps if his "side job" takes too much time, you could agree that he gets to keep half of it for his hobby and the other half goes toward your "house" expenses.

know a guy who buys literally half a dozen guns every month, but doesn't spend much money on it because he's constantly selling his guns off to fund new purchases. He usually makes money on each gun he buys and then sells. So he can have as many guns as he can afford, and he has to choose which ones those are. Maybe he'll have to sell off guns or other prized possessions to have what he wants; that's the way life works. That should be his choice, however, and I'd be careful not to say he needs to sell one thing to get the other. If he doesn't want to sell what he has and just keep his collection the way it is, that's his choice.

One thing that could ease things a lot is if he doesn't have to hide things from you any more. If he's staying within the budget you've agreed on, and within the time and space considerations you've agreed on, and you're just fine with him doing what he wants within those limitations, he likely won't even want to hide it from you any more. That, at least, is my own personal experience.

As for making it more doom-oriented, perhaps you could A) stock up some ammo of your own that he doesn't know about as a prep, or B) get him into reloading, which will make better ammo more cheaply for him. Or get into reloading yourself.

Maybe air guns could be an outlet, too. It's quite cheap but quite satisfying to target shoot with a pellet gun; in fact there are Olympic level competitions that use air guns. Alternatively, Laserlyte makes a product called their TLB-1 which allows you to use a laser in the barrel of the gun for target practice. Once you buy the setup (maybe $250) it's nearly free to operate. Those options may not be as satisfying as actually shooting a big-bore rifle, but marriage is about making compromises.

As for getting an AR-15, he could get or build a better one for less than the $1000 Cabela's wants for that one. Look into getting a complete upper receiver, and then a stripped lower, lower parts kit, and stock. $500-700 should get you equivalent quality to the link you posted. Sounds to me like he's not good at getting creative with what little money you have.

Meh. As combat rifles go, a 16" AR is about the least you can do. (Anybody who wants to mess with stripper clips while under fire...well, just 'cause an SKS is cheap doesn't mean it's good) The M1 Garand is 3 times as powerful as a AR, and no more expensive, it's just not black.

http://www.odcmp.com/Sales/rifles.htm

Yeah, the issue here isn't guns, it Poppy's worthless POS husband. I don't know what to say about that; our culture has collapsed and maturity is apparently optional.

So after 10 years of enabling his behavior you are disturbed that it worked so well?

If you are already doing all the work, sounds like it is time to move on. You can't fix a man who has already decided that being a parasite on his wife is a worthy lifestyle choice.

How do I both NOT nag and NOT be an enabler? I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't.

We were 17 when we got together, I kind of assumed that he'd grow up on his own without my needing to Mommy him.