Good morning. I have a lot of thoughts and feelings sometimes.

I hope I can organize them here in a way that has them expressed and brought to the surface.

I have so many ideas that I cannot write them down quickly enough, and I am a fast typer.

Maybe I will just start with the ones that I can hold onto... this is how quickly they are coming and going this morning.

First, I have the feeling that I would like to rename this whole Thread Trauma center: Coping with Collapse, instead of Doom. I think it just feels better. "Collapse" feels a little more objective/subjective while "Doom" might automatically turn some running from sharing. Help me with this one if you have an opinion. "Collapse" feels a little more accessible to more people.

Second, the idea of purpose or meaning is coming up for me. The idea that we all (or don't) have a sense of purpose in this life. I think that is partially the purpose of "religion". Well, religion can be adopted. I don't adopt religion. Or meaning. Do we feel a meaning within ourselves or do we adopt a meaning? Does meaning come from within or is it a mechanism of survival, of defense against, deep fear and insecurity about our wellbeing? Understanding the System, or, perhaps, the existence, of Collapse does not really seem to be inspirational. It does not really feel good. It might give some kind of sense of meaning, or understanding of facts, and then maybe give a sense of direction given facts. Again, this seems reactionary in the sense that it defines a set of rules about how our environment is behaving, and then our minds and hearts can either accept the information or deny its existence.

Assuming we accept the information, then what? We have to come to a way of being within the environment that we grasp as our reality. We will grasp the reality at so many different levels. Sometimes consciously, sometimes unconsciously. And we might overlay other systems onto this environment of reality in so many different ways, with so many different forms. Some of the forms and overlays could be learned from our own particular histories. Whole forms, like an identifiable religion, or bits of forms can be adopted and woven together to present a format for bridging our understood environment - in Collapse, or of Collapse - that will then be understood and felt - and that will then lead to new layers of understanding and feeling. This is kind of what I see as moving through time... each building upon new formats or layers, with adding to the web of new understandings and feelings over time... is kind of like seeing something... or an understanding... being built. So each new layer creates itself from the web of understanding. When one piece is laid down in the puzzle, the puzzle reveals itself further... or picks up speed in identifying the whole image or picture. But it is not really about time. Or even really about cause and effect. It is really more about meaning. I guess it is difficult for me to explain what I am feeling here. The picture is already predefined, because all of the pieces are already there, but just need to be put together, like a puzzle? Or do each of the layers of understanding and reality of our own particular environment help us to see only the pieces of interlocking pieces amongst billions and illions of pieces... there cannot really be only one solution. There is really not one puzzle... I am getting frustrated now because I don't know how to explain...

Maybe this belongs in mutant zombie biker lounge? Maybe that place is a better layer, environment, format for these words I am writing?

I don't know. Anyhow, I am looking at meaning, could be purpose, or meaning in one's life, or meaning of the existence of beings, and then what? Meaning and then what? Once we grasp onto what something means, then what? What happens after this? The moment in between meaning and then what needs, I feel, to be looked at and felt and deeply understood. I think that is important. I will think some more about it. I have forgotten my other ideas from this morning.